he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
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No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
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The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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