He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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