Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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