They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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