I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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