plz talk dirty to me
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
