either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Ketchup is God's man juice
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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