i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
