Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...

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  (619): So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way... http://tfl.nu/ma03
  Replies (13) Good night (553) Bad night (963)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed

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  (804): the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight (1-804): i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed http://tfl.nu/tivd
  Replies (38) Good night (4076) Bad night (664)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  She is totally STD

  (941): View more from Florida

  Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD

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  (941): She is totally STD (941): Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD http://tfl.nu/ruv5
  Replies (52) Good night (1162) Bad night (4178)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much

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  (828): I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much http://tfl.nu/wzca
  Replies (14) Good night (1581) Bad night (2966)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."

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  (301): let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child." http://tfl.nu/sqg2
  Replies (18) Good night (5651) Bad night (2779)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.

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  (586): Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail. http://tfl.nu/99nr
  Replies (9) Good night (3827) Bad night (1227)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.

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  (765): I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/m09q
  Replies (25) Good night (4148) Bad night (2676)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.

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  (902): So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge. http://tfl.nu/p9n1
  Replies (5) Good night (1026) Bad night (2245)
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  (518): View more from New York

  my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks

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  (518): my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks http://tfl.nu/8135
  Replies (11) Good night (4483) Bad night (1133)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.

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  (504): I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation. http://tfl.nu/5z11
  Replies (22) Good night (1537) Bad night (5458)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.

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  (801): I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey. http://tfl.nu/fucb
  Replies (8) Good night (2358) Bad night (1073)
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  (760): View more from California

  Houston, we have a blender

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  (760): Houston, we have a blender http://tfl.nu/azdt
  Replies (4) Good night (2272) Bad night (703)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.

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  (651): Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult. http://tfl.nu/x3id
  Replies (1) Good night (1653) Bad night (727)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.

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  (843): What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/4ub5
  Replies (16) Good night (2895) Bad night (886)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.

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  (646): Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50. http://tfl.nu/ks3u
  Replies (1) Good night (656) Bad night (325)

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