her vagine was all disorganized.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night