try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised