Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!

(847): View more from Illinois

Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!

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(815): You left a skid on my bar stool!!!! (847): Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool! http://tfl.nu/5bzd

Replies (24) Good night (1017) Bad night (5121)
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(310): View more from California

My entire life is one complicated drinking game

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(310): My entire life is one complicated drinking game http://tfl.nu/hoza

Replies (19) Good night (4201) Bad night (738)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

giving yourself 2 days to recover i see

(828): View more from North Carolina

I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.

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(704): giving yourself 2 days to recover i see (828): I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night. http://tfl.nu/33op

Replies (11) Good night (4633) Bad night (705)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm never eating chinese again.

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(215): yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night. (215): i'm never eating chinese again. http://tfl.nu/0tg8

Replies (11) Good night (818) Bad night (4404)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.

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(702): I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave. http://tfl.nu/8hoe

Replies (17) Good night (3666) Bad night (1469)
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(817): View more from Texas

2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.

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(817): 2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester. http://tfl.nu/1qgy

Replies (5) Good night (2695) Bad night (899)
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(707): View more from California

I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..

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(707): I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution.. http://tfl.nu/dcg9

Replies (18) Good night (4502) Bad night (1455)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!

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(502): Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it! http://tfl.nu/c7ri

Replies (7) Good night (3340) Bad night (945)
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(347): View more from New York

When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards

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(347): When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards http://tfl.nu/auk4

Replies (10) Good night (1443) Bad night (724)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???

(773): View more from Illinois

Found 2 Coors, problem solved.

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(773): Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that??? (773): Found 2 Coors, problem solved. http://tfl.nu/6q5w

Replies (11) Good night (1711) Bad night (473)
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(512): View more from Texas

Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon

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(512): Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon http://tfl.nu/vd4z

Replies (9) Good night (2009) Bad night (454)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.

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(919): When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs. http://tfl.nu/7b1r

Replies (6) Good night (1551) Bad night (568)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery

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(608): Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery http://tfl.nu/z40m

Replies (7) Good night (552) Bad night (910)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.

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(901): No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state. http://tfl.nu/kqwr

Replies (8) Good night (1204) Bad night (424)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"

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(613): Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie" http://tfl.nu/n4uh

Replies (2) Good night (478) Bad night (297)

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