Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.