I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
