Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  my head looks like a cockatoo

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom

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  (305): my head looks like a cockatoo (1-305): mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom http://tfl.nu/w2nh
  Replies (10) Good night (1137) Bad night (1574)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.

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  (724): I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass. http://tfl.nu/otet
  Replies (35) Good night (1027) Bad night (8245)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.

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  (402): I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had. http://tfl.nu/opb7
  Replies (54) Good night (10111) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.

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  (413): You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant. http://tfl.nu/uoqp
  Replies (49) Good night (1514) Bad night (5144)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.

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  (516): sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it. http://tfl.nu/pgco
  Replies (13) Good night (7035) Bad night (1554)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school

  (1-914): View more from New York

  oh right the one that ends on your bed

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  (914): i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school (1-914): oh right the one that ends on your bed http://tfl.nu/wrnw
  Replies (8) Good night (6428) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now

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  (801): Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now http://tfl.nu/m9st
  Replies (17) Good night (3632) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.

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  (303): One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud. http://tfl.nu/mlmc
  Replies (20) Good night (9185) Bad night (1598)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.

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  (269): quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it. http://tfl.nu/uc5u
  Replies (9) Good night (2440) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.

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  (707): come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you. http://tfl.nu/6h34
  Replies (17) Good night (2189) Bad night (2659)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.

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  (856): Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox. http://tfl.nu/almc
  Replies (18) Good night (2090) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...

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  (248): I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw... http://tfl.nu/f06y
  Replies (2) Good night (1432) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG

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  (256): Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG http://tfl.nu/vp2r
  Replies (5) Good night (556) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams

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  (303): If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams http://tfl.nu/psml
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".

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  (717): He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt". http://tfl.nu/asc7
  Replies (3) Good night (601) Bad night (198)

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