found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are