I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
