I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
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I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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