are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
