Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
