i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
