Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize