why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
