boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!