I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old