Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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