cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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