Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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