Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
