either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize