Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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