yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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