loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
