Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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