Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
