I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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