Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
