he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
