I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
