hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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