Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
