he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Randomize
