I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
