Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
