Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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