pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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