he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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