all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have tasted many bathrooms
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
