I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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