Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
