Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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