Say something about gay babies.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
two words: eviction party
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
