between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I would ride that face into the sunset
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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