It's like a parade of train wrecks.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
