:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
