the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
