She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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