Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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