We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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