I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
