It's a beautiful day for a hangover
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize