Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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