Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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