its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
