Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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