break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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