On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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