HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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