New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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