I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
