I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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