Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
