It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
smell my finger.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
